i'm like a lawyer in the way i'm trying to get you
by Kitt x coffee
Summary: Kenny's bored with life, so Damien offers to help. Please R/R, it'd really help.
1. 1 beginning

Snow lightly fell on a quiet, old town by the name of South Park. Hills surrounded the area, rolling on for miles and miles. Pure, remarkable perfection hid the wild town's bizarre past, to be kept in the hearts of the residents who no longer could relive anything like that again.

One thing still remained, though. A tall, wiry blond boy kept a curse he would be trapped with.

Immortality.

And constant death.

Down in a ditch, covered in wet, freezing snow he lay, bleeding slowly to death. Kenny McCormick muttered curse words to himself, hoping he would die already and get the cycle all over with so he could continue on his daily life. Growing tired and weak, closing his eyes he leaves the wretched area once again.

"Welcome back."

Damien sat a small, vintage, black and red table sipping at his tea again. He always sat there, always wanting to be the first to greet Kenny. Satan's son became lonely after trying to befriend Pip again, although he didn't forgive him lighting him on fire like a rocket for Cartman's amusement.

"You're just the same as them." Is what the last thing Pip said to him.

Kenny got up, brushed his faded orange parka, and took a seat.

"How are you feeling?" Damien asked.

"Fine." Kenny said, and looked off to the side, then to the other.

"You don't look fine." Damien took another sip of tea.

Kenny sighed, and replied. "Well, I am."

Damien hit epiphany, and smirked, showing off his sharp demonic fangs. "Would you like to add some excitement to your life?"

"Hmm….I don't care. I'm not sure if I would approve of your idea, but I got nothing to lose."

_Snap._

_--------_

_Author Note; Please don't slap me. _

_Uhm, I'm just starting to get back into the "fanfiction" thing again. 0:_

_And, sorry that the story is gonna start out a little slow :B_

_....I'm trying._

_Sorry if I'm a crappy writer. OTL._

_I feel like Stephanie Meyer. ''_


	2. 2 silk pajamas

_Please don't shoot me._

_----------_

Feeling lightheaded and extremely dizzy, Kenny slowly opens his light the meet the bright morning sun peeking out from the window. Although, he gets up realizing something is very different. He feel like he has lost about 30 lbs and his crotch seems very…empty. The house seems different too, because obviously, it wasn't his.

Quickly jumping out of bed, he also realizes he's in silk purple silk pajamas. Ignoring it, he shamelessly looks down his pants to discover his…penis has disappeared.

"HOLY SHIT." Kenny yelled.

There was a call for breakfast from out back, it sort of sounded like Damien's, a little bit more high pitched though. He rushed towards the call, to notice a lady, around 20, with long straight black hair, a long sweeping fringe and pale skin grinning with almost pointed teeth.

"Good Morning, Kennedy." Damien said, twirling his hair.

"What the hell, Damien?"

Damien shot him a disgusted face. "No, dear, it's _Diane._"

Rolling his eyes, he replied. "_Diane,_ what the hell is going on? I didn't mean this!"

"You didn't care. Nothing to lose, correct?" Damien laughed, and set down a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast. "It's breakfast time."

Kenny just glared holes into him, with his jaw to the floor. "You could at least have told me before this. Now my friends will probably wonder why I would have chosen to become a _girl._ Especially a scrawny one with no curves or boobs."

Damien took this into consideration, and then grinned almost evilly, "You don't have to tell them you're a girl. Play with them? Seriously, do something hilarious to them. If they find out, they wouldn't care. You were nothing really but a prop to them."

"A prop?!" Kenny felt disbelief.

Damien sighed, and put on a sympathetic face. "I've _watched _you guys. They usually do something exciting, but you're just watching. You're always watching. And when something good happens to you, you're in it alone. They don't care most of the time."

He thought about it. Damien was right. No best friend, no family, working alone, crying alone, gaining alone, losing alone, _sharing_ alone. When someone cared about him genuinely, it was usually a girlfriend he had. At their break-up however, she would always think that Kenny seemed like a great guy, but obviously wasn't.

Kenny muttered under his breath. _Stalker._

"Well, why did you make me so undeveloped?

"Why do you ask so many questions? Just eat. " Damien replied annoyed.

Kenny sat obediently, but didn't touch his food very much. He thought about what he was going to do, because, he might as well make the most of it. Maybe he should play with his friend's hearts. He could only hope, since his body wasn't stunning in anyway.

"Play it hard, I guess.

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_Authors Note; I hope it's continuing okay. _

_I'm really trying to not be a shitty writer.  
_

_Please R/R_

_I'd feel more confident if you do 3.  
_


End file.
